Rain and Rainbows

2015.06.29

Last Friday something momentous happened in the world, and that is that gay marriage is now legal in all 50 states in the US…But you already knew that, because you are not living under a rock.

That week was interesting, because I had already signed up Justin, Atlas (our dog), and I to march with P&G in the Cincinnati Pride Parade. So I almost felt like I was ahead of the game, right?! Like, before this big thing happened with the Supreme Court, I was already an Ally at work, and I was already doing what I can to support LGBTQ rights (I had an Ally sticker on my badge and everything!). So, I felt pretty good about myself…Self-righteous almost.

And then that made me feel guilty, because I almost felt like I was congratulating myself for some amazing accomplishment that I had basically no part in. I was just walking a mile and a half in a parade, and I got a free shirt and free P&G product for doing it (not exactly a selfless act). Sure, I changed my profile on FB to one of those rainbow photos, but was I emailing my senator campaigning for trans rights? No. I just go home and “like” George Takei’s Facebook posts and text my best friend congratulating him on being able to get married. But, I’m not doing anything.

I think that’s a typical issue with my generation. I would say I know about 5 people personally that DO things, and the rest of my friends just like or share it on social media, or we say we support it but we don’t do much about it. I wish I was a do-er, instead of someone that cheers from the sidelines. Sometimes I feel like I am doing things, in my own way. I don’t allow homophobic words to be said around me, and I will stand up for my friends 110% given the opportunity. But most of the time I’m pretty passive…And that’s something I would like to change.

I tend to cry a lot. Most people don’t know that because what happens is my eyes well up with tears, but I don’t let the tears fall (because I’m stubborn and easily embarrassed). But I still consider that crying because it feels like crying. I cry when I am sad, but I also cry when I see a really cute baby commercial, or when I’m frustrated, or when I’m pissed off. I cried during the Pride Parade, because it was beautiful and because there were other people out there crying because they were so happy. I was crying because I was happy for all these strangers, but also because I was sad that there is still so much more to be done before we’re really all equal. And that’s the rain behind the rainbow.

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