Am I a Bad Bride?

Let’s be honest here…I am a lazy person. My Pinterest is full of DIY projects for my wedding, and now that we are only 2 months away it is looking less and less likely that I will actually complete any of them. I have purchased a paint kit, but I have not painted my cake toppers yet. I have made exactly two clay cake toppers, when I need to make about 10 more. I never made the “Pennsylvania v. Texas” corn hole sets for the cocktail hour, and I will probably end up buying them for a whopping $200. I was going to make beautiful menus and welcome signs out of wood, and hand paint them….But now I’ll end up purchasing them on Etsy (or not having them at all, cause fuck it, no one notices that stuff anyway, right?).

Somehow I feel like that makes me a bad bride. Like, I should enjoy doing all of these crafty things, right? It should be fun? But honestly, I just wish I was married already. I go back, and I think about all the decision I’ve made gearing up for the wedding…the groom (!), the location, the venue, the caterer, the invitations, etc. And my biggest regret is that I did not elope. Justin and I should have just eloped! I could have saved thousands of dollars, months of my own personal time, and a lot of stress. Plus, the whole goal is to be married to the person you love, right? I feel like wedding planning and the HUGE expectations that American women put on their wedding gets in the way of that, and clouds the real purpose! I have no less than 10 vendors helping me with the wedding, including a day of coordinator, my parents who are helping plan and pay for everything, and yet I am STILL stressed about little details like when we’re cutting the cake, and who is doing the readings during the ceremony.

If you have not been married before, let me let you in on a secret…Even the most laid back brides get stressed the fuck out. And we all have nightmares leading up to the wedding. Yes, NIGHTMARES. The other night, I woke up crying (yes, we’ve established in an earlier post that I cry a lot) because I had a dream that our wedding turned out terrible and no one had fun. Apparently, in my dream, Justin had a broken leg (random?), our officiant had nothing to say about us because we didn’t meet with her beforehand, the caterer showed up with all the wrong food, and we got married next to a bunch of port-a-potties. Like, wtf. Oh, and I couldn’t get a cocktail to calm me down cause the bar was overrun. If it wasn’t my own nightmare, this would be funny, but seriously, this is the stuff that keeps me up at night.

I want to be Lauren Conrad, who to me seems like the perfect bride. She has impeccable taste, she never gets stressed, and she looks beautiful and breezy all the time. I’m sure her wedding was the epitome of California Modern Romance (which, by the way, is the theme I’m going for for my wedding), and I wish I was like her but I’m just NOT. Sigh…

To sum up how I’ve felt for the last 9 months while planning this wedding, I wanted to share this hilarious Buzzfeed comic. I showed it to Justin and he laughed out loud, so hopefully it will make you smile as well!

We can’t all be Lauren Conrad. But hopefully my wedding will be beautiful in its own right. And if not, at least I’ll have this great guy who laughs at my Buzzfeed comics, and doesn’t freak out when I wake up in the middle of the night crying over a caterer that brought Mexican food instead of steak.


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